Best tweets of the night
fun fact: Michael Cera asked Rihanna if he could slap her ass for real and she said “you can slap my ass for real if I can slap you in the face for real” and he was like alright. and they did the take like 3 times and Michael was like “you’re not hitting me hard enough do it for real” and then she slapped the fuck out of him and threw off his equilibrium so much he had to go lay down in his trailer for like half an hour and that’s the take they used in the movie with no added sound effects
Friendship at it’s finest
So bad with my words but so good with my tongue
"Billy where is your homework?"
"im sorry Ms. Klein my dog- *sees dog in the window make a throat cutting motion* -gone cat ate it”
I show affection for my pets by holding them against me and whispering I love you repeatedly as they struggle to escape from my arms
I hope snails rise up and take over
this is one of those pictures that just sort of exists and nobody questions why
Flaphack #7: *Magically transform an old concert lanyard into a soothing pancake scented car freshener!
*not actually magic
When the pizza arrives, Brad Pitt is there to hand out plates